• Crap Relationships Disclaimer,  Uncategorized

    Matt Day Homewrecker aka Australia’s very own Angelina Jolie

    Last night I was woken by an anxious friend calling me from overseas concerned that her boyfriend was on the verge of cheating on her. ‘It’s horrible, like I know he’s not right now cause he’s making me a smoothie but when he asked if I wanted avocado I just thought of my god that’s her vagina and him making me the smoothie well that’s just him metaphorically f**king her.’ ‘With the avocado?’ ‘No, she is the avocado. Don’t you see?’ ‘He’s not going to cheat on you with an avocado, there’s not enough room’ I mumbled as I rolled onto my side and was greeted with my flashing clock…