Category: pregnancy

Warning: Toilet Humour (or How I Learnt To P** Again)

I read once that a guy was so constipated that he took a hot shower, bent over and tried to spoon himself out. It was a success and that spoon is supposedly still in circulation today. A true hero’s journey. Why do I mention this? Because I too once thought the idea of removing a […]

Best Birth-Day Ever

By the time I reached 36 weeks, I think it’s fair to say, I was not the poster girl for pregnancy. I was the pregnant woman anyone thinking of getting pregnant needed to avoid at all costs. There was no glow. No increased libido. No ethereal photoshoot by the seaside with my partner’s arms wrapped […]

Hello Leakage, my new friend.

Date night. Soft candles – check Billy Joel love-making soundtrack – check Dog locked out – check Temperature just right – check Billy Joel love-making soundtrack destroyed in mysterious house fire – check Incense…lots of incense…because we can’t quite seem to shake the smell of – ‘Urine’ my partner confirmed. ‘The whole room smells like […]

Dream A Little Dream

I’ve always been a firm believer that if someone, even with all the best of intentions, feels the need to unburden last night’s dream on you over coffee, it’s ok to end the friendship there and then. They’ll understand. If not, in time they will. They will. But being the massive hypocrite I am, I’m […]

Diary of An Adequate Mother

A few months ago I found out I was pregnant.  ‘How did this happen?’ I asked legs spread atop the toilet seat, testing for the third time that morning. ‘You pretty much did that’ my boyfriend replied smugly, motioning to my legs akimbo. Now to be perfectly candid, we had talked about having kids for while, […]