I’m going to write something in a moment and straight up it’s going to come out sounding like I think I’m a better person than you. It’s not the case, trust me, I’m so self-deprecating that I still don’t think…
A traditional school photograph, me with my two black eyes, alongside my brother and his sexually ambiguous haircut (I can say that because we’re related). This photo once represented my scamp-like nature. When people looked at it they would often…
People often glance sideways at me in the street, as if they know me from somewhere but just can’t place me. Did I use to do their laundry? Was I grounds for their impending divorce? Had the buttons on my…
(This article first appeared on the Daily Life website www.dailylife.com.au) As women, we’re often bombarded with music, literature and movies about break-ups with lovers. But when it comes to being dumped by a friend, we often struggle to find…
Nevending Storage ‘*****’ Time Out, Sydney Winner ‘Time Out Critics Choice Award 2012′ There was a surreal moment right at the beginning of the night in which one audience member audibly groaned and started animatedly discussing with her partner whether they should…
As appeared in The Lifted Brow – The Summer Magazine , January 2012. COMMENT Lou Sanz Recently, I had the terrifying feeling that I’d run out of things to write about. In my panic, I found myself attempting to…
I’ll be honest; I’ve never really had a proper Valentine’s Day. It’s through no fault of my own because god knows I’ve tried. Dressing up as boxes of heart shaped candy, yelling at random men in the street ‘…
I spent some time in the US this year mainly performing, mainly spending a lot of time on Skype trying to make myself still an attractive propspect to my boyfriend back home at 2am in the morning, mainly trying to…
I read an article in The Age recently, because yes, the newsagency had sold out of Grazia – BAM! No, I was really reading The Age and no it wasn’t something I’d already read a week earlier on the…
Often when one thinks of romance we conjure up images of young, nubile (look, maybe that’s just me and my penchant for being able to bounce things off walls) creatures, fornicating on a deserted beach at sunset, declaring a love…
Standing on my train station platform I thought about my new financial year resolution; to move away from meeting men at arts industry based events such as music festivals/ library borrowing queues / openings/ other festivals/ readings and the video…
I like my friends. I find it helps. However sometimes I get the distinct impression that if faced with a ravenous mega crocodile in a swamp they would throw a bucket of fish guts over me and then run for…
Coming home from a gig on Saturday night realising that if I managed to make it home by 9pm The Bill would be in full throttle and even with my comprehensive knowledge of back-story I’d struggle to keep up, I…
‘Is 22 still too young?’ I asked as I watched the object of my distraction lie naked say for a few well-placed bubbles, in a bathtub on my local Hoyts cinema screen. My friend heaved her fist back into her…
Ok, so someone once told you that you bear a striking resemblance to Harper Lee and you thought yes, yes I do, and so of course the only logical thing would be to become a writer. And so that’s…
I’ve never been one for Christmas parties, or parties in general. A lot of forced conversations with people I wouldn’t normally make eye contact with on a tram, who make remarks about nuts, giggle at the word nuts, have a…
I’m never good at buying Christmas presents. I always seem to get outdone. Like the year I got my friend a double pass to the movies and then his girlfriend rail roaded me by giving him a baby. It’s not…
Dragging a discarded bassinet through the streets of Brunswick I couldn’t help but marvel at the wonder that is ‘hard rubbish day’ as I yelled out at no one in particular ‘has anyone seen my baby? I told her to…
Last night I was woken by an anxious friend calling me from overseas concerned that her boyfriend was on the verge of cheating on her. ‘It’s horrible, like I know he’s not right now cause he’s making me a smoothie…
‘Hey slut!’ my girlfriend yelled at me as I greeted her for a coffee. ‘I’m reclaiming the word’ she informed me as I sat down opposite her in my denim-on-denim ensemble. ‘Yeah, I gathered as much’ I bemoaned partially because…
This is a reading from my new show ‘Not Suitable for Children’. A collection of children’s stories not at all suitable for children.
Here is a reading of my story ‘The Girl Who Looked Like a Man’ from my show ‘Not Suitable for Children’.
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