Man it’s hot in Melbourne.

It’s really hot in Melbourne at the moment. You might have figured this out from the barrage of Tweets from Melbournites proclaiming it to be ‘f**king hot.’ A heat wave in any major city  is a great test to see how your fellow residents might react in say an armageddon. The Family Have you seen […]

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Being fat in the ’90s.


I was fat. See this photo. In this photo what you see here is me, sitting, being fat. I was probably being funny too, cause that’s what fat girls do best, funny. You can’t see it, but I reckon everyone in the room was laughing at something I’d just said. Somebody probably peed his or […]

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What Would Miranda Kerr do?

I’ve started keeping a gratitude journal. I’ve been told it’s something Miranda Kerr does. The idea is that you find at least 5 things to be grateful for each and everyday and by keeping a list of them you can reflect back on the good things in your life, making the bad things, well trivial […]

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Sanz Surprise Birthday by Lou Sanz

  It’s my birthday tomorrow and what I’m doing for it is a surprise. Yep, I’ve been told to just wear something that makes me feel good. ‘So I can wear my new fluoro pink tracksuit then?’ I asked. ‘Sure.’ My boyfriend replied. ‘Really?’ ‘Yes, but understand, you’ll be more embarrassed than me.’ Well played, […]

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How You Made Me A Bad Person

I’m going to write something in a moment and straight up it’s going to come out sounding like I think I’m a better person than you. It’s not the case, trust me, I’m so self-deprecating that I still don’t think I’m ever going to top this one day in 1984 when I received the ‘Best […]

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‘A Letter to the photo I never wanted taken.’ (published in ‘Sincerely’ – Woman of Letters compilation by Penguin Publishing)

Black eye

A traditional school photograph, me with my two black eyes, alongside my brother and his sexually ambiguous haircut (I can say that because we’re related). This photo once represented my scamp-like nature. When people looked at it they would often remark, ‘Oh my, how did you get those two black eyes?’ And I would laugh […]

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Neverending Storage takes out Critics Choice Award at Sydney Comedy Festival


Nevending Storage ‘*****’ Time Out, Sydney Winner ‘Time Out Critics Choice Award 2012′ There was a surreal moment right at the beginning of the night in which one audience member audibly groaned and started animatedly discussing with her partner whether they should stick around, after Sanz made what would have otherwise appeared to have been a throwaway […]

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As appeared in The Lifted Brow – The Summer Magazine , January 2012. COMMENT Lou Sanz   Recently, I had the terrifying feeling that I’d run out of things to write about. In my panic, I found myself attempting to convince an ex-boyfriend to get back together with me, say only for three months—you know, […]

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I’m not a slut but I do like to walk.

‘Hey slut!’ my girlfriend yelled at me as I greeted her for a coffee. ‘I’m reclaiming the word’ she informed me as I sat down opposite her in my denim-on-denim ensemble. ‘Yeah, I gathered as much’ I bemoaned partially because I knew where this conversation was headed and in no small part because the cafe […]

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Sexy adventures with Cankle Lady


Coming home from a gig on Saturday night realising that if I managed to make it home by 9pm The Bill would be in full throttle and even with my comprehensive knowledge of back-story I’d struggle to keep up, I stood waiting for the illustrious No 19 tram. Not to worry, I wasn’t alone. I […]

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A minor faux pas


Standing on my train station platform I thought about my new financial year resolution; to move away from meeting men at arts industry based events such as music festivals/ library borrowing queues / openings/ other festivals/ readings and the video store. So far it was going well; I hadn’t left my house in over a […]

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I’ve started wearing tracksuits


Often when one thinks of romance we conjure up images of young, nubile (look, maybe that’s just me and my penchant for being able to bounce things off walls) creatures, fornicating on a deserted beach at sunset, declaring a love that need not speak its name, unapologetically crushing the pink tinged roses he’d bought her […]

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